obliviously optimistic

That January haze
of those postpartum holiday daze
seems to have lifted,
dissipated,
It is then that I realize I am still here
all is well and a little more clear.
I was lost, distracted
not proud of how I acted,
like a childish imp, a pompous tool
an ungrateful daughter, the silly fool.
Will simple sorry's be enough
to regain lost trust?
My tarnished self is still in need of polish
creative momentum, grant me some solace.
There is still so much to learn
and respect to be re-earned.
A whole wide world to explore,
I'm still curious enough to open closed doors,
even if it's a big mistake.
For a life not lived is a life I cannot take.
So bring it, in all your glory
Let me participate in my story
and focus on the wonder
and the beauty 
yet to be discovered.