perfidy, lofty, dedication aka procrastination

her lofty ambitions often held her back, 
was it the lack of dedication 
to follow through and make them true.
She was tired of trying 
and denying it was the problem. 
If only they knew… 
her beast was back, closing in fast
just as she was rediscovering trust, 
but the deliberate perfidy by
some friends was too much to handle,
seriously am not ready for the scandal. 
Welcome stormy weather, 
let me light a candle.

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03/20/2022 0

2 poems and a cameo by Garbo video

recorded on 8/13/20. Tonight I share two untitled poems, one that is kind of about prince charming and another about a break-up. I also show off Garbo, who does not want to be on camera. Oh cats, but I love him so. 😻

The question of the night is about how we approach practicing and what is our mindset about it.

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03/19/2022 0

zaftig, charlatan, mojo

descriptors didn't enamor her 
so why was she enchanted by 
this charlatan's words. 
for a brief second: he was the guy 
The mojo this charlatan possessed
often left her feeling blessed
Aw sweetie, anything for you
she would reply
with a coy sparkle in her eye
and a spring in her step 
magical moments that lasted seconds 
before he became a bore 
and spoke out of hand 
causing her to fall back to earth. 
Oh, he could’ve been the guy… 
but remember 
she wasn't enamored by descriptors
zaftig? really?
Is that what you see?
In her body dysmorphic mind
she was unable to embrace her curves  
and could only equate that word 
with the worst 
She missed the body she used to know
The body she had 
before age come and took hold

wod 10/18/21

03/16/2022 0

billet-doux, kinship, cordiform

I heard the ping 
vibrate from my phone 
A text sent 
waiting for me to respond 
A petit billet-doux, 
one single picture 
hands held in cordiform. 
Such a simple message 
but it signified so much more 
what a special kinship, 
friendship,
we shared
Whatever it was I cherished it 
more than most. 
I smiled and blushed
then returned the text 
with a ❤️ 
to show my love.

wod 2/14/22

03/15/2022 0

reprobate, acquire, awning

85 degrees in February!  
Oh LA and your endless summers. 
Barely any need for sweaters, 
only in December. 
I look up 
only to have those blue skies remind me 
that I need to acquire an awning. 
It has been a couple of years  
the Santa Anas have taken their toll, 
the current tarps had to go. 
After next week's paycheck, 
must make a trip to Home Depot,  
then look for a reliable friend,
before those wicked winds come back again.
I have someone in mind, 
our interactions have so far
been founded on trust,
but maybe he's not up to the task.
We'll see, I’ve yet to ask.

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02/13/2022 0

my favorite mornings

My favorite mornings are the ones 
where I wake up, sip my coffee and hum 
Nina Simone's ‘It's a New Day’ to myself 
because I am feeling good,
lucky to still be here 
grateful for another chance 
to make a difference
idk where the day will take me
but I’m curious enough 
to travel to the outer limits
before I’m forced to reel myself back in,
for actions have consequences
and there is a too far to go, you know 
by the time midnight strikes
I may be a little battered, buzzed, 
slightly hammered
ready to regret a choice 
I'm about to make 
but for fucks sake…
He feels good.

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02/12/2022 0

reciprocal, somersault rationale

Oh my god she gasped silently. 
What did he do, now? 
She shrunk back into her shell and  turned away. 
If she doesn’t see it, or acknowledge  his actions with a reaction… 
did it happen? 
Deep inside she was touched, it wasn’t exactly a declaration of love, 
far from it, 
but she giggled as if it was. 
I mean
the respect was reciprocal,
but this spectacle he made of himself 
had little to do with her 
and more with the frustration 
so many others had.
We were trapped 
without a visible way out. 
Sometimes one had to shout, get loud 
then do somersaults to explain the rationale. 
However explanations weren’t on his mind this time.

Wod 12/18/21

02/11/2022 0

congenial reveal matcha

I tried my best to put on a congenial facade, but the patron’s persistance that we had matcha was wearing me down.
How many times could I repeat ‘No, we don’t.’
How many times could I list the teas we had in stock. I reminded her again that we weren’t a Starbucks or a cozy corner coffee shop. Still she persisted and insisted that she got one last week. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I was on the verge of revealing my darker side. I wanted to walk away, instead I said ‘whatever you say’ and dropped the plain green tea bag in the hot water. Handed it to her, told her to have a nice day and mouthed under my mask "Please go away".

Wod 12/19/21

12/21/2021 0

devotion, daunt, cryosphere

A noise behind the closed door 
startled his senses, with a jolt he 
shot up like a bolt. It was a crash 
bang clang, a signal that a new 
disturbance had entered the atmosphere 
He was tempted to call out 
"Hello, who's there?" but then he had a 
flashback to the last time he asked 
that and blindly opened the door, the 
last time he attempted to investigate 
and his world imploded and he crashed 
through the crack in the cryosphere 
and found himself here. Inside a 
dark cell dedicated to his devotions, 
a place to play out his premonitions 
undaunted, untethered by outside 
criticisms. He was not prepared nor 
ready for this intrusion on his solitude.

Wod 10/22/21

11/27/2021 0

the re-read

I re-read my words 
to try and remember the time 
but ultimately I remember the mood 
that goes with every rhyme. 
In some I smile and bask in the joy 
that comes from when the writing is done. 
In others I relive the darkness 
that had enveloped me then 
when it encroached on my soul 
but as I wrote those words 
I was finally able to let it go. 
I don't know what people will see, 
what they will read, 
what they will eventually 
believe of me. 
But if they could identify 
and know those moments 
inhabit us all…  
Then I did my duty 
and it was worth it all.

9/18/21

11/22/2021 0