her lofty ambitions often held her back,Continue reading “perfidy, lofty, dedication aka procrastination”
was it the lack of dedication
to follow through and make them true.
She was tired of trying
and denying it was the problem.
If only they knew…
her beast was back, closing in fast
just as she was rediscovering trust,
but the deliberate perfidy by
some friends was too much to handle,
seriously am not ready for the scandal.
Welcome stormy weather,
let me light a candle.
descriptors didn't enamor her so why was she enchanted by this charlatan's words. for a brief second: he was the guy The mojo this charlatan possessed often left her feeling blessed Aw sweetie, anything for you she would reply with a coy sparkle in her eye and a spring in her step magical moments that lasted seconds before he became a bore and spoke out of hand causing her to fall back to earth. Oh, he could’ve been the guy… but remember she wasn't enamored by descriptors zaftig? really? Is that what you see? In her body dysmorphic mind she was unable to embrace her curves and could only equate that word with the worst She missed the body she used to know The body she had before age come and took hold
85 degrees in February!Continue reading “reprobate, acquire, awning”
Oh LA and your endless summers.
Barely any need for sweaters,
only in December.
I look up
only to have those blues skies remind me
that I need to acquire an awning.
It has been a couple of years
the Santa Anas have taken their toll,
the current tarps had to go.
After next week's paycheck,
must make a trip to Home Depot,
then look for a reliable friend,
before those wicked winds come back again.
I had someone in mind,
our interactions have so far
been founded on trust,
but maybe he's not up to the task.
We'll see, I’ve yet to ask.
Oh my god she gasped silently. What did he do, now? She shrunk back into her shell and turned away. If she doesn’t see it, or acknowledge his actions with a reaction… did it happen? Deep inside she was touched, it wasn’t exactly a declaration of love, far from it, but she giggled as if it was. I mean the respect was reciprocal, but this spectacle he made of himself had little to do with her and more with the frustration so many others had. We were trapped without a visible way out. Sometimes one had to shout, get loud then do somersaults to explain the rationale. However explanations weren’t on his mind this time.
I tried my best to put on a congenial facade, but the patron’s persistance that we had matcha was wearing me down. How many times could I repeat ‘No, we don’t.’
How many times could I list the teas we had in stock. I reminded her again that we weren’t a Starbucks or a cozy corner coffee shop. Still she persisted and insisted that she got one last week. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I was on the verge of revealing my darker side. I wanted to walk away, instead I said ‘whatever you say’ and dropped the plain green tea bag in the hot water. Handed it to her, told her to have a nice day and mouthed under my mask please go away.
A noise behind the closed door startled his senses, with a jolt he shot up like a bolt. It was a crash bang clang, a signal that a new disturbance had entered the atmosphere He was tempted to call out "Hello, who's there?" but then he had a flashback to the last time he asked that and blindly opened the door, the last time he attempted to investigate and his world imploded and he crashed through the crack in the cryosphere and found himself here. Inside a dark cell dedicated to his devotions, a place to play out his premonitions undaunted, untethered by outside criticisms. He was not prepared nor ready for this intrusion on his solitude.
My words can be obtuse, I felt I
need to explain myself further
and ended up repeating and repeating
all the time. came across like a bully
because of misunderstanding. I never
meant to hector, didn't mean to
lecture. I was passing on some
information, a codicil, if you
will, something like that.
What’s up with the words of the day?
One day I was bored and on the verge of letting my mind wander into the desolation of my imagination. I did not want to go there. So as a distraction I looked up the words of the day. I was blown away and had an epiphany.Continue reading “breaking the block”
"C'était très facile. no trouble at all" she said as she shrugged her shoulders pushing my concerns aside. I was horrified by what she'd done. How, not now! Holy cow, sitting at the table was a revenant of her late husband, my father, dressed in his best golfer's garb.Continue reading “facile ghoulish garb of the ravenous revenant”
Last night I dreamt of the manticore again. it sat above me on top of the mountain pass, waiting for me to reach the gate. I trodded and trudged up the hill dreading the moment when I would reach the apex. I did not want to be judged, but still I climbed and crawled over the boulders blocking the path. Will the obstacles I overcame and surpassed make him sympathize and feel my plight? I doubt it. I could hear his stomach growl, it was like thunder. I could sense his hunger. It just waited and watched. Why didn't it pounce and put me out of my misery just end this journey? Was it too invested by it's delight in my struggle? Damn you demon! You may best me and get in my way but I will win & get over this trouble triumphant as I beat you back into the rubble.Continue reading “manticore, sporadic, nomenclature”